Apr
12

&reg and you

So I was coding something the other day, in which one portion uses an interactive map to display content for your region.  So if you’re viewing from Ontario, you’ll see Ontario by default.  If you’re viewing from BC, you see BC by default.  Simple enough.

Well, simple enough in Chrome, Firefox, and Safari.  Internet Explorer 8 was giving some hassle, though.  Neither the province nor custom content was showing up by default.  If you chose a province it would go there, but custom content still wasn’t there.

After more tracking and debugging than Internet Explorer should ever be worth, I isolated it to the url that was referencing the map itself.

https://www.sourceIwasusingcom/map.html?cov=content&reg=ON

Specifically, it was the bold part that was the trouble.

To break it down, the first chunk which should look familiar is the url for the website/page itself.  The question mark (?) after indicates that parameters are being sent to this site.  That’s how it knows to display specific things depending on the user.  The first parameter being sent is called cov.  Whatever variable I send will indicate what things I want covered, and display accordingly.  Following that we have the ampersand(&).  This is stating that we have an additional parameter to send.  So we’re sending cov, and then something else.  Said something else is reg, which indicates the region.  In this case it’s Ontario.

So broken down, we’re saying “Load this page, display this coverage, and show it in the region of Ontario”.

That’s exactly what all the browsers do.  Except IE.  Searching and searching through the source yielded no results.  Using the very handy and intuitive developer tools on Chrome and Firefox were no help, since there was no problem for them.  Finally after slogging through the very user unfriendly developer tool of IE, I was able to isolate why it was having trouble.

Instead of https://www.sourceIwasusingcom/map.html?cov=content&reg=ON, IE was calling out https://www.sourceIwasusingcom/map.html?cov=content®=ON

Well that’s not supposed to happen.

For those unfamiliar with HTML Entities, they are ways of safely coding symbols used in… well, coding.  As a basic example, back in the days before easy “do it for you” editors and interfaces, if you wanted to hard code a link to something on the web you type <a href=”link”>.  Cool, but what if you want to tell someone how to do that?  If you type it out, it will just become a link.  So you use the code &lt;, which is the HTML entity code for the Less Than symbol.  And at the end, you use &gt; for the Greater Than symbol.  Every entity follows the same forma.  The ampersand(&), the characters or numbers to define the symbol to display, and then the semicolon(;).  Simple, stylish, sexy.

So back to the issue.  The browsers handle this situation normally, because… well, they should.  There is nothing wrong with the code.  Sure, &reg is close to &reg; (the HTML entity code for ®), but it’s NOT &reg;.  It’s missing the semicolon.  For whatever reason though, IE decides “Oh, you probably meant to put a semicolon there, and wanted ®.  I’ll take care of that for you.”

Thanks, jerk.  The fix for it mistaking my parameter as an HTML entity was ironically enough, to use an HTML entity.  It was processing &reg, so if we use the HTML entity for &, it should process that instead.  Thus, &amp;reg will output &reg after all is said and converted.  It was a small and simple fix, but quite a pain in the butt to isolate and figure out.  It was nice of Microsoft to have a campaign to getting people off IE6, a few months back, but in all honesty, they should have just bumped it to EI6, 7, and 8.  Do they even make money of Internet Explorer?  Why do they keep making it, when everyone else does it better?

Also in hindsight, I could have switched the Region parameter to go first, and the Coverage parameter to second, since &cov; isn’t an HTML Entity, but the fact that I had to change anything at all is the problem here.

Nov
15

Review: Ice Men – Thierry Mugler

Ice Men

I took that myself. Reco-nize!

What’s the official statement here…

  • Fragrance: Ice*Men
  • Brand: Thierry Mugler
  • Perfumer: Jacques Huclier
  • Bottle Design: Jean Jacques Urcun
  • Launched: 2007
  • In Production: Yes

Writing about this guy is exhausting.  Everything but Mugler Cologne is a potent gourmande powerhouse.  The strongest deviation in his “Men-Star-Man” line is Ice Men, which provides a slightly different assault.  I feel like Ice Men is conflicted.  The name is Ice Men, which would denote a cool and fresh approach.  At the same time, it knows it belongs in part of the Mugler Men lineup, so it feels obligated to be super potent, bordering on offensive.  The solution it came up with to appease everything?  Patchouli.

I really want to stress this:  Patchouli

Ice Men ad

The original ad concept before those bigwigs and fatcats tinkered it to hell.

I can recall a time in my slightly more rambunctious and irresponsible youth, where I was invited out to the creek to partake in the devils-weed marijuana with school chums.  Since this was something I did much too rarely to ever get any good at, I was notorious for coughing badly.  On this particular occasion, we were using a water bong, similar to the one pictured on the right (sans dude leaning through waterfall in the sky.  That only came with the deluxe model).  I was always aware and ashamed of the coughing fits, as they could become quite ferocious, and on this particular occasion I very badly wanted to just play it cool.  I realized I was getting the urge to cough, and knew that if I moved away to get some air, that would trigger it immediately.  Thus, the only way to muscle through this would be to keep my mouth over the pipe and man up.

Unfortunately, by the time I finished that thought process, I had also finished coughing into the pipe with such herculean might, that I blew the stopper out, and sprayed the bong water all over my friend’s white shirt.

About ten minutes before he was to hand out baked goods as a token of good will on behalf of the running student body president.

High school was quite some time ago, and I don’t really remember how everyone felt about the situation, so I feel safe in just assuming that my actions got me monumental amounts of praise and respect from that group.

Why did I tell this story?  Well, because reminiscing is always fun (as if he’ll ever allow me to forget that day), but mainly because every time I spray Ice Men, I think of that moment.  It’s probably not very fair to state “Ice Men makes me think of bong water”.  Even less so when it’s “Ice Men makes me think of bong water being coughed onto someone before they need to do something important”.  That’s what I get linked to, though, and I can’t help that.  One might wonder why I would want to ever wear this more than once, much less enough to allow my saying “every time”.

The thing is, it gets better.  It takes some time.  Like, a half hour at least.  But eventually, it mellows out very nicely, and actually does come closer than most anything else I’ve ever tried to smelling cold.  The most notable instance for me was at the end of the day, having a shower, and noticing that despite the unnecessary heat my showers always involve, my wrists actually smelled fresh and cool amidst the steam.  If anything the heat amplified it.  It was really relaxing, and still lingered a bit when I went to bed.  I need to attribute that to the cologne, as the only alternative would be that I’m terrible at cleaning myself, and I don’t really want to walk down that road.

In the end, this fragrance spends the last parts of its life in a very cool and pleasant state.  However, I don’t think it’s often worth the journey required to get to that point.  If there was a way to just start this at the drydown, it would be wonderful.  I don’t think this is a situation where because it was disagreeable for so long, anything would smell wonderful afterwards, either.  There is something nice in here, but you have to slog through too much to get to it.. I consider this fragrance a bizarre experiment of novelty that didn’t pay off, but one of few candidates to get close to feeling like a “cold” smell.

Oct
25

Operation: Justify Your Stupid Impulsive Decision – Zombie

This weekend was easily one of the worst weekends to drop acid and be anywhere from Trinity Bellwoods Park and Chinatown in Toronto.  Yes, Saturday October 22nd was the Toronto Zombie Walk.   The massive group shuffled from Trinity-Bellwoods park at Queen and Ossington over to Spadina, up to Dundas, and back to the park over the course of two hours.  I decided to go out and take some photos, and came across an alarming discovery.

Zombie!

This kid could be getting by just fine with a monocle!

Let me start by saying that my friends have come up with a Zombie invasion plan that I was a firm supporter of.  As soon as word of infection breaks, everybody puts on rollerskates.  Bam, problem solved.  Will it help us elude them?  Maybe.  I don’t know, depends on the ratio of downward slopes to uphill steps, I guess.  But it isn’t about helping get away from the infected, it’s about helping stop the spread.  Think about how it goes.

  • Thing is infected
  • Infected thing infects person
  • Person infects other person
  • People spread infection

Now there’s no stopping the first three parts, sadly.  But it’s not a huge deal, since we’re only looking at a small group of people infected at this point.  Then, that group will get to the first wave of rollerskate-equipped survivors.  Those survivors will get infected, and then they’ll spr-…. No, they won’t do anything.  They’ll have rollerskates strapped to their feet.  There’s no way a zombie would figure that out.  They’ll be flailing and falling, no longer a threat to anyone, no longer multiplying the rate of infection.  It isn’t about saving yourself, it’s about saving humanity, and it’s the only way we’ll make it through one of these things.  At least, that’s what I thought.

Rollerskating zombie

Yeah, that's it. We're totally screwed, guys.

Looks like we’re going to have to go with the much less favourable Zombie Plan B, and just pull out all our teeth.

If you would care to see the complete gallery of images from the Zombie Walk, check them out here.

Aug
08

Operation: Justify Your Stupid Impulsive Decision Intermission – The Repair

I discovered a slight issue with my camera.  While looking through the viewfinder, any point of light has a slight ghost of itself hovering below it.  It becomes especially noticeable in night-time shots, with things like street lamps, traffic lights, office lights… you know, lights in general.  While the issue seems to be with the mirror or viewfinder, as it doesn’t show up in actual pictures taken, it’s irritating and inconvenient.  Much like when a man first notices his bald spot, once that knowledge is there, you will always see it.

I was fairly irked over this, as my much inferior much cheaper D40 did not have this problem.  Spending more money to upgrade to something that is harder to work with seems counterintuitive and irksome, so I mailed it to Nikon to get it fixed.  The lady on the phone said it takes about 10 business days or so.  I sent it over a month ago.  A call placed the other week yielded the information that they were “waiting for a part” and that it would be about another week, so I’ve spent the last month thinking of what could be cool to have a photo of, and passing on a few offers.  The melody and notion of selling everything and buying a Canon instead fluttering in my ears.

So that’s the reason there isn’t any camera related updating going on.  As far as fragrance updating, that’s just me being incompetent.

In other news, I have talked with a few friends of mine, and one of their big hangups with using their DSLRs is grasping the Aperture-Shutter-ISO triangle, and how they all intertwine to determine the lighting and feel of a shot.  The understanding of “Open Aperture = blurry background” and “Fast Shutter = Sharp subject” is there, but getting everything to work together can be a bit overwhelming.  I had planned to put together a visual display showing how these things interact and relate to one another in a picture taking process, when I cam across a handy simulator that does all that in a much better and more advanced method than I planned to cook up.

In light of that, I suggest that anybody wanting to play around with how ISO, Shutter Speed, and Aperture all work with one another check out the DSLR Simulator at Camerasim.com.

Not only does it cover those great things, but it allows you to get a better idea of the visual mechanics behind a zoom and a wide angle, in conjunction with your distance from the subject.  All in all a great little tool, and since it’s the same subject/position, you can get a good feel of what set up will yield what result.  Check it out.

Jul
19

People love to hate people they’ll never meet.

I was one of the proud viewers of Rebecca Black’s hit music video Friday back when it was still under 20,000 viewers. On that Saturday, my friend and I put together a brilliant plan to play the video at our houseparty the following Friday, thinking it would be a grand old confusing situation of “what is this and where did it come from?”. The plan fell through as by Tuesday, everyone we knew was aware of the video, and as the views of the video jumped by millions each day, I realized that at the speed of the internet, this would be played out by the first Friday of is fame for me and my friends, and even the enjoyable Bob Dylanish would be passé.

Not one to let my curiosity and obsessions with the confusing stop with what I’m given, I quickly took a long look into the original Ark Music Factory website, and without straying too far in to this, will simply say that I was not excited with the kinds of things I found.  From uncomfortable music videos of 11 year old girls for some reason partying in night clubs, to pictures that caused my friend do state with genuine concern “I feel like I should go turn myself into the police just for having this in my browser history”.  The mystery expanded, and I got tangental ideas to build on as I wrote.  Unfortunately, by the time I had something I was ready to put out there, I felt it was once again, already passé.

And here I am at attempt 3 with trying to be “on the cusp” of news and events that we shouldn’t be caring about.  This is my moment.

…Well, I guess this is My Moment.  The new single out by Rebecca Black.  Even though is was uploaded today, it was already at over 22,000 comments when I started writing this.  It’s now at 39,000 and change.  With (I kid you not) 84 more comments since I wrote 39,000.

If you opted not to listen to the song, I’ll break it down for you.  It’s a pop song by a young girl about herself.  That’s it.  It’s not hilariously bad, it’s not breathtakingly good, it’s just… a generic pop song.  I don’t mind it at all.  I find it fairly easy to listen to, but I don’t see it getting stuck in my head.  It’s leaps and bounds above Friday, but if you don’t factor that in for this, it really boils down to “just another pop song”.

Yet there is so much hate, and venom.  It’s astounding.  I know Youtube Comments are where kindness goes to die, but I find this stuff manages to perpetuate beyond that.  Admittedly, I was sharing the video with those around me for the sake of humour and mockery, which isn’t a very good thing in itself.  The hatred that came from this, though, was astounding.  Just looking at some of the My Moment comments (41,513 now, with 25 more comments as I was writing that number down) is depressing.

There was supposed to be a list here of a few comments grabbed at random, but I actually got depressed after grabbing two, and decided that in an effort to keep swearing to a minimum (or at least make it classy when it happens) and to avoid perpetuating these statements that deserve to be unseen and forgotten, I’ll just say “People are mean”.  If you wish to make yourself unhappy and get a horrible feeling of negativity, you can view the comment section of her video.  What I was trying to get was examples of comments that weren’t along the lines of “I don’t like this song”, but instead “I hate you as a person and wish bad things would happen to you”.  That is a very toned down summary, but the core fundamental link these all manage to share, and that’s got to be one of the worst things to have in common.

We are talking about a person who you don’t even know.  You’ve never met them.  They haven’t tried to hurt you, or be mean to you.  In the interviews I’ve seen of her, she isn’t being mean to anybody, or saying rude things.  She’s acting like your basic 13 year old girl.  This is a child we’re talking about.  This child is being buffeted with comments of negativity and hate directed to her from so many directions.  Ranging from mean spirited comment to vulgarity that nobody should have forced upon them, to say nothing of a child.

She hasn't even reached the "self loathing" high school years yet.

A lot of the anger now seems to stem from bitterness over the fact that she was part of something that wasn’t particularly good (Friday), and is now famous for it, and made some good coin from the whole thing as well.  In other words, jealousy.  A mindset of “Why is this person famous and successful for something bad, when so many other more deserving people aren’t?”  Pro Tip:  ”so many other more deserving people aren’t” tends to commonly translate into “I’m not”.  The conversations and anger I’ve witnessed over some kid far away, who will never associate with or interact with these people… it’s astounding.

This has already gotten long winded, so I won’t spend too much time on the other end of this, the Biebs.  Though I don’t condone the outright hatred and cruelty directed to these people, I can at least understand someone experiencing frustration at the thought of someone “making it big” for reasons they can’t comprehend.  Justin Bieber however, is another kid I don’t personally know, so I have to sort through the internet to find what I can on him.  From what I’ve gathered, he was just doing his thing like many others, posting videos to youtube, and because some famous people saw him and thought “this kid has talent and marketability” he got a nice help up to fame, leaving anybody that may be better than him, on par with him, or for some reason nowhere near as talented, extremely bitter and resentful.

My attention was brought to him via a video clip from CSI of his getting shot with the comment “Oh, if only this were real”.  My only real emotional reaction over the video clip was displeasure at the continuity error as he’s shot, as in one angle he’s holding a gun, in another he’s open handed, and then once again has the gun in hand.  I make this comment somewhat in jest, but I was astounded that some people sharp eyed enough to also notice the error were leaving comments on the video making fun of HIM for the error, as opposed to the director, editor, or whoever is in charge of continuity (read:  Not Justin Bieber).  Still, what struck me most with this was my friend’s comment wishing that it were real (and others added agreement to that).  Think about this for a second.  You are wishing some kid you don’t even know, who has done nothing to wrong you, to die.  You can come back and say “Oh, it was a joke”, but it still stands that you are being part of the vocal group that is not just spreading hate and negativity, but making statements that you wish people were dead.  For what?  Because their music isn’t to your taste?  Because you chose to view a website with a video you could have shut off or walked away from any time you wanted, but didn’t, and were unhappy with the result?  Because someone is better off than you, and you feel more entitled?

I have no doubt I’m guilty of these actions as well, and I’m going to do everything I can to put that shit on ice, because it doesn’t help anybody, and just perpetuates negativity.  Hating someone is a bad enough thing to deal with.  Hating someone without any good reason is just horrible.

I haven’t come across many reasons I find valid, myself.  Until Justin Bieber personally comes and punches me in the balls, I’m going to stand by my claim that he seems like a pretty good kid.  Rebecca Black also seems like a nice girl, and her newest video isn’t bad.  I wish the best for both of them.

Over 50,000 comments now.

Jun
14

Operation: Justify Your Stupid Impulsive Decision Part I – 1080p

Last month I took a few friends to the annual Photographic, Video, and Digital Imaging Show put on by Henry’s camera and video centre.  It was a great opportunity to hear some amazing people speak on the art, view all the different offerings from different companies, and fight every possible impulse and desire to make sure I exit with as much money that I entered with (aside from the 9 dollars for a small poutine and 7 dollars for a small orange juice).

It was a really great time, and I came out excited and impressed by two specific speakers, Denis Rule has a lot of great things to talk about in terms of the importance and potential ease lighting.  What was wonderful was that he would do what he was talking about as he went, quickly setting up a couple lights, taking some shots, and showing the untampered results live, and they were amazing.  The other was Michael Willems, giving a talk on the importance of lenses, and how though they are expensive and scary, they are a worthy investment.  If you have any interest at all in photography, I strongly suggest you read his blog.  He updates daily, and just talks about things he does, things people should do, things people can do.  It’s a very casual but informative collection from a person that knows what he’s doing, and most importantly, knows how to share it in a way that is very easy to understand.

Something I griped about all throughout college was the fact that I had no models.  Anybody I knew that might be willing to model for my projects/assignments lived many cities away, so I was stuck doing landscapes, and if a model was essential, I’d set the timer and be in the shot myself.  I mentioned this to one of my friends at the show, and she told me about a photography networking site called Model Mayhem, which is kind of like Myspace, only instead of shitty bands, it’s creepy guys with cameras, creepy guys who know how to use the airbrush in Photoshop, and women that don’t mind being photographed by creepy guys, because it’s “artistic”, and it makes them look super hot.

Through a burst of inspiration from reading through Michael’s blog and seeing his photos, I signed up, and within the first week had managed to set up a photo shoot, which had me absolutely terrified.  This was an experienced lady who knows what she’s doing, has dealt with photographers before, and has enough amazing pictures in her portfolio for her to obviously have standards and expectations.  Here I was, without so much as a light beyond my on camera flash, and my iPod screen.

For that reason coupled with the realization that just about every photo I truly sit back and marvel at involved some form of lighting, I set out to Henry’s to take a look at the different flashes available.  The Nikon SB-600 seemed to have the control I wanted without being over the top pricy, so I went with that, and then realized I would need to use it off camera, so some sort of wireless trigger system would also be needed.  Things get a bit hazy here, but eventually I was sitting on the bus with a new flash, a new wireless system, a Nikon D5100, an 18-105mm lens, and an 8 gig SD card.  I’m not going to put to much time into tying the knots and tracing this story back to the cause, so rather than figure out who is truly at fault for my expenses, I’ll just go the easy route and claim that Michael Willems now owes me fifteen hundred dollars.

In any case, the first thing you should do with any camera is take as many shots as you can.  Play around with it, learn the settings, functions, and capabilities.  I call this Operation:  Justify your stupid impulsive decision.  This will be a multi-part segment, each one revolving around me trying to exploit as many functions as possible with the camera, even if they’re kind of silly or frivolous additions to the technology.  The first piece will be HD video!

Last Friday was a development day for the college, and we had a booth to showcase our department.  On the Monday (business day 1 with my new toy) I proposed we try to make a video that is a bit more than the standard “sitting in front of a canvas saying your name, position, and what you do” that is found with these things.  Really, I just wanted to play with my camera, but this was perfect, because I could get paid to do so, and it was actually productive!  One of the things I didn’t consider was that I had 4 days to have it shot, edited, and ready to go.  Most of the editing was done by my assistants, with me spending the thursday night in the office until midnight doing the final audio touches and timing/structure of the clips.  It was certainly a stressful four days, but it’s now Tuesday of the week after, and I’m still satisfied with the video.  That’s probably the longest I’ve ever gone without becoming disappointed in my own work, so I think that’s pretty cool.  Here is the embedded video.  I strongly suggest you watch it at 1080p, as that’s what it was made for.

Jun
01

Baby Bullet

I know I’ve been slack lately.  I’m working on it, I promise.  And while this wasn’t on the original schedule, I had to post something now, if just to be able to say “I was there at the start.”

Now, there are a few modifications going on here, but what astounds me is just how well this person has created an unsettling mood, simply by slowing the speed a bit, and adding a warped rendition of the song Kill The Target.

One thing I really love is how it does things like give you a few more moments to really watch and take in the reaction to the drunk grandma, what normally would be a quick chuckle and dismissal as the engaging story moves on will instead dwell, as you start to notice that this woman clearly has a problem.  Her grand daughter is clearly aware of it, and not impressed, but too timid to make a serious scene about it.  Instead she gives an “oh you” look, and tries to turn the subject away.  This family is in some dark times.

Oh, speaking of which, I’ve been sober for coming up to 3 months now.  I’m pretty impressed with that.

May
17

Shufflin’ and Shimmyin’: How To Choose The Right Party.

This prior article by Jamie got me to thinking, and by thinking, I mean reminiscing.

Dancing, completely without fear, is a feeling that everyone in life needs to have. To feel your body shift into that final gear, feel the rpm’s go down in your brain from stressed-out “I’m-In-The-Club-And-What-Should-I-Be-Doing” gear, to a sense where time stops, and you remember it for the rest of your life.

You don’t exactly remember what your body was doing at the time, but you remember the sense of satisfaction that you felt when finally your walls came crashing down, if only for a moment.

How can YOU, reader, obtain this feeling? And where, more importantly can you aquire it?

The answer does not lie in:

  • Risky-Business-Esque Underwear dancing alone in your place of residence or business.
  • Drinking until you cannot remember ejecting your stomach’s contents on that girl’s shoes on the streets of Downtown Guelph in the Fall of 2004. (Note from Jamie: This is unsettlingly specific)
  • Boastful Myspace-Angled-Facebook-Photos.

Since the internet doesn’t have nearly enough personality tests, I have simply created a handy chart that anyone can consult when you just want to Keep It Going Louder. Take this simple personality test, and you, yes YOU, increase your chances dramatically to bump, pop, lock, and bust-the-freshes with the best of them out on the flo’.

Warning: This test does not guarantee a fun night for you and your friends, but I assure you it will increase the chances of one occurring.

1) You describe the company you like to keep as:
a. Friends. (1)
b. First Names. (2)
c. “Buds”, or “My Girls” (3)
d. The Crew. (4)

2) When you’re arranging rides for the evening, your terminology is more likely to contain:
a. “I’ll drive.” (1)
b. “Lets walk, if we can.” (2)
c. “You drive.” (3)
d. “Someone else call cabs.”(4)

3) When you’re choosing clothes you:
a. Want PJ’s (1)
b. Don’t care. (2)
c. Look the best you can. (3)
d. Get Ostentatious (4)

4) When choosing a musk for the evening you:
a. Don’t put anything on. (1)
b. Deodorant/Toothbrush-combo (2)
c. Cologne or Perfume (3)
d. 3 Sprays or More (4)

5) You describe your dancing style as:
a. Not that good. (1)
b. I’m average (2)
c. Good. (3)
d. Bumpin’ (4)

6) Your alcoholic beverage of choice is:
a. 1 Shot of Liquor mixed with an entire can of _____ (1)
b. Beers and Wines (2)
c. Anything strong. (3)
d. Shots, Shots, Shot-Shot-Shot-Shots. (4)

7) Your Favourite film of the following four is:
a. Maid in Manhattan (1)
b. Star Wars (2)
c. Harry Potter (3)
d. Step Up II (4)

8) When you’re done partying you:
a. Are asleep at 10pm. (1)
b. Go Home and Read for a bit (2)
c. Crash on your friends couch (3)
d. Unexplainable Orgy (4)

And there you have it. Now, where should you get funky?

If you scored between 8 and 14 Points:

* Movie-Party

Stay at home, watch a couple of movies, and tell some jokes with your friends. There is absolutely nothing wrong with an evening like this. In fact, this is where a lot of people can be at their most comfortable, and let loose the most. The euphoria and dizziness of the club scene is a frightening unusual place that you don’t want a piece of. Play some Balderdash.

If you scored between 14 and 20 points:

* Hit the Pub

Grab a group of a dozen folks or so, order rounds of beers, arrange some rides with some Designated Drivers, and get ready for organized fun! Telling jokes over tall lagers, and conversation drowned out by the occasional Journey or Fleetwood Mac song from the Jukebox can be a refreshing change of pace, and a great night out. Sportsfans revel in the cacophony produced by seemingly thousands upon thousands of Television sets playing everything from Iced Canes to Diamond Bags. Great for catching up with old friends.

If you scored between 21 and 27 points:

* Hit the dance bar.

There’s dozens of places in every city with some absolutely fantastic nightlife to fit any taste. There are higher odds of bumpin’ and grindin’ going on, longer lines at the bar, louder music, but the energy in these places is palpable when a crowd of similar tastes gather. Cheers when tracks start, followed by silence on the dance floor and nothing but movement, the music can really take over: don’t be afraid to strut! These places are likely to have couches/tables/booths where you can rest your heels after a few tunes out on the flo’.

If you scored 28 or Higher:

* Greaser club.

Printed tees, printed tees, printed tees! There are no couches. There are no breaks. There is only dancing, and the bar staff is likely in under-garments. Careful not to breathe in too heavy, avoid eye contact with those of the same sex lest a brawl ensue, and have some dirty-fun. These places have the rhythms pumping loud, so all-out insanity and release of total inhibition is likely, however the possibility of a disastrous night is higher as well. You’re playing with fire in these places, don’t get burned, but embrace the heat.

The moral of the story:

Only you know your own comfort zone when wanting to have a good time. Don’t let others push you into doing something, or going somewhere you simply don’t want to go. Contradictory to that, don’t be afraid to push yourself, and push your personal borders when it comes to partying. Keep an open mind, don’t take things seriously, Keep It Going Louder, and you’ll have a blast.

Dance like nobody’s watching, friends!

May
15

Review: B*Men – Thierry Mugler

Perhaps it’s just me, but the name B*Men seems like a huge marketing oversight, and missed opportunity.  We have a composition that holds the same “hit ‘em hard” mentality as A*Men.  We have the same bottle design but with red instead of blue.  We have the same strange advertisements, but with a dark red metallic weirdo instead of a silver and blue metallic weirdo.  This fragrance seems to come off as being the anti A*Men for people that don’t want to smell like a night on Jersey Shore, but want to stick with the Thierry Mugler style.

Ad for BMen

Kudos to Mugler for deciding to market with bizarre nightmare instead of sex appeal.

With all this in mind, and the A in A*Men standing for Angel, would it not be a perfect contrast to call this D*Men?  You know… Demon?  It’s got that bold spicyness to it and everything.  They could have done so much with this fragrance instead of discontinue it.  Sure, “Demon” may seem like an iffy title from a marketing perspective, but is B*Men really any better?  When letters are used to signify things, when is B ever better than A?  Hardly ever.  You want and A in school, not a B.  They were called the A Team, it’s the more desirable letter!  Calling it B*Men when there’s already an A version out there shows the kind of confidence akin to A- Pizza, in Hamilton Ontario, where I always pictured their mascot being a delivery guy shrugging and giving an “oh well” look, with a caption saying “We’re good, but you’ve had better”.

Progressing further up the alphabet from here is pretty much marketing suicide, so I guess we’re at an impass.  Might as well talk about the fragrance.

  • Fragrance: B*Men
  • Brand: Thierry Mugler
  • Perfumer: Jacques Huclier
  • Bottle Design: Thierry Mugler
  • Launched: 2004
  • In Production: No

The _____*Men line has a reputation of being bold, aggressive smells.  Nothing subtle.  That is probably due to notes like these:

Leather, Patchouli, Musk, Anise, Vetiver, Licorice, Spices, Vanilla,

The opening is intense, much like A*Men, but nowhere near as aggressive or unsettling.  It’s just quite noticeable, and unique.  There is a very strong tang to it, like rhubarb.  Fruit without the sweetness.  And do NOT get started with me on “It’s a vegetable”, or “It’s an herb” or whatever.  I know it doesn’t have seeds, I know it’s from the Rheum family of plants, I don’t care.  You bake that stuff into a delicious pie, and you sir/madam, are dealing with a fruit!

Also, it’s considered a fruit for the purposes of regulations and duties in the United States, so all y’all can just take it.

In any case, the tang of the rhubarb will gradually fade, leaving just good old spiciness.

I try to be pretty reserved with my cologne escapades, especially at work.  I dread being “that guy” who people know has entered the room without seeing or hearing him.  If my presence is felt by some alarming and unexplainable fear or discomfort, fine, that’s pretty cool; but if someone knows I’m there because they smell me, I’m not as pleased.  I feel that in being an enthusiast of fragrance, my risk of being “that guy” is also much higher than most, so I’m probably even more careful than the common gentleman.  In any case, B*Men was the first cologne to get noticed by a coworker, who was interested in it.  He also confirmed that even though I’d worked there for a year and a half, he’d never noticed any smell in my office, so that’s good to know.  The point is, when compared to many other fragrances out there, B*Men is much more noticeable.  This is caused both by the strength, and the uniqueness.

This doesn’t smell like someone has cologne on.  It smells like someone has an interesting scent.  It triggers something different, and rather enjoyable.  B*Men was one of my first colognes as I got into this whole thing, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it at first.  It was interesting, but seemed too aggressive for me, and my style.  I’ve grown into it a fair amount since then, and enjoy it quite a lot, as while with many other scents I’ve found similar ones, or reminders, I’ve yet to come across anything else that makes me think of B*Men.  So far it’s proven quite unique.

This is a spicy and warm fragrance, and because of that I feel it works most effectively when it’s cold.  It’s certainly usable in the summer, but you have to be careful and go light with it.  Though my anecdote was a story about me wearing this at work, I really wouldn’t suggest doing that.  It’s not really good for a professional environment.  Like most of Mugler’s other colognes, this is the kind of thing that was made for a fun-time-club kind of setting.  Don’t write it off to be exclusively for that scene, though.  You may find all kinds of suitable scenarios for it.

I also want to take a quick moment to give my glowing praise to the B*Men deodorant.  This stuff is not only a great compliment to the fragrance, and almost nearly as strong, but it also lasts absurdly long.  I put some on the morning before leaving on a camping trip.  One that involved trees, talking about trucks, and that sort of manly gruff adventure.  Two full days after applying that deodorant, I woke up and as my mind finally penetrated a blinding hangover, I realized that I could still smell B*Men.  Despite all I had been through, it held strong.  Making sure I wasn’t delusional, I promptly forced my friend to smell.  I doubt he was keen on the idea of his face having a hot date with my arm pit, but since he was still half asleep, he wasn’t in much of a state to provide the quick reaction required to deter me.  Though he threatened to take the car and abandon me in the woods, and though breakfast was extremely awkward, he did admit that it smelled alright, all things considered.  I chalk that up as a great success.

Apr
26

Review: A*men – Theirry Mugler

Ok, I’ve been putting this off for so long.  It’s band-aid time.

A*Men (Angel Men in the states) by Thierry Mugler is a powerful beast.  It makes its presence known with firmness and from a distance.  Because of this aggressive nature, it’s most definitely going to cause you to take a firm stance on liking it or hating it.  The probability of finding someone that’s indifferent or on the fence about A*Men is so ridiculous, it would be about as probable as finding someone willing to defend the film Battlefield Earth that isn’t a scientologist.  It just won’t happen.

 

A*Men advertisement

About as ridiculous as the advertisements were terrifying.

A*Men is Thierry Mugler’s first masculine fragrance.  After launching the groundbreaking perfume Angel in 1992, he followed up four years later with what is basically a male version.  Angel has been considered the fragrance that brought extreme headway to the gourmand style of fragrances.  With its thick layerings of dessert-like notes, the original Angel buried the “less is more” philosophy and crammed as much as it could into the scent, with notes ranging from coconut, plum, and peach; to chocolate, caramel, and vanilla.  To make a grand understatement, it’s intense.  A*Men opted to drop most of the fruit notes, and substitute them with bit of a floral and citrus blend at the start, followed by the chocolaty caramel wave, and finally ending with vanilla, patchouli, and coffee.  This is the best of what I can make out, at least.  There’s actually an absurd amount more in this, but when you get hit with such a potent onslaught, picking out each individual note has a success rate on par with getting involved in a land war in Asia.  From a bit of research, here’s the notes claimed to be present:

  • Top Notes: Coriander, Lavender, Green Notes, Fruity and Spicy Notes, Mint, Bergamot
  • Middle Notes:  Honey, Patchouli, Jasmine, Milk, Caramel, Lily-Of-The-Valley, Cedar
  • Base Notes: Sandalwood, Tonka Bean, Amber, Musk, Benzoin, Vanilla, Coffee

Again, take that list for a grain of salt, because for the most part, you get a powerful mashup of a few very prominent notes, and the rest just float by undetected as your nose recovers from shock.

I don’t know if I’ve made any mention or reference towards this, but A*Men is kind of a strong fragrance.  Spraying this stuff is pretty much akin to kicking your nose in the crotch.  It’s overwhelming, and for me, initially unpleasant.  I find it too aggressive.  Luckily, as it dries down, it becomes much smoother.  Still potent as all hell, but in a warm and tasty manner.  The base notes of this fragrance are where it really shines.  The caramel, vanilla, and chocolate are the most pronounced, but there’s the essence of patchouli hanging out at the sidelines as well.  It’s a good thing I enjoy the base notes, since this stuff will last on your skin for a good 12 hours or so, easily.

I can’t think of any other fragrance that compels me to give a warning to people, but I feel this is necessary to anybody unfamiliar with A*Men.  You have to be careful with this, not just in terms of how much you spray (Protip:  Very little), but proximity as well.  I sprayed this on each wrist the other night, one up close, and one farther away, and after about a half hour they were both totally different.  The distant spray went into the nice and comfortable chocolate warmth, while the close spray still held on to the aggressive top notes I’m not very fond of, along with and almost burnt tinge.  I also must stress that if you plan on spending your day in close confines with other people, such as an office or school, wearing A*Men is about as considerate as just not showering for a few days.  Unless you work in a night club or something seedier, I would say it’s too aggressive for a professional setting.

All in all,  this is a good fragrance to use in the colder time of the year, and for informal social events where you really want attention drawn to you.  Be advised that A*Men throws subtlety out the window, and hopes it will hit someone on the way down.  It will get noticed, and due to the style of it, it can just as easily garner negative reactions as it can positive.  As an example, any time I would prefer to sleep on my girlfriend’s couch, I can wear A*Men when I visit her, and that just sorts itself out.  Spray it at a distance, spray it modestly, and it should work out nicely for you.  If you would prefer something subtle, or good for an all around use, this has very little to offer you.

Second Opinion from Lauren:

Apparently if it’s given a couple hours to mellow and i have 4 beers in me, it smells good.

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